I see my pretty little red dress hanging in my wardrobe, reminding me of the few (and far in-between) “wow” moments. It has not been picked up for a while now- not because there wasn’t an occasion to wear it, but because it’s a high demand relationship with my little red dress. I need to be in my “best shape”, else we do not go well together. This high maintenance relationship demands me to “handle it with care” and “dry clean” only. I also need to make sure to wear the right co-ordinates that goes well with it – the right shoes and the right accessories. As I flaunt it, I consciously or subconsciously stay away from any “spillage causing agents”, and that sometimes includes my own kids.
When I get back home, the first thing I would want to do is to get out of this “high maintenance relationship” with my awesome pretty little red dress . I am eager to be back in my pajama, stretch out, take a deep breath and just be me.
Aren’t the most enduring relationships like the pajama fit – one that you always want to get back to? The one that gives you enough breathing space, and accepts the fact that as a person you may not be your perfect-self everyday. The one that is not pressurizing you to “always” handle it with care. But for some reason we also tend to take our “pajama fit relationships” for granted.
Those pictures in the pretty little pricey red dress is guaranteed to get a lot of “likes”, but at the end of the day we all yearn to go back to our pajamas.
I am a traveler walking the streets of an unknown neighborhood called life. Every person I meet is a window; some are so well guarded with barb wires and have painted their panes black to avoid any sort of intrusion. I avoid these windows and with the very natural instinct peep into the first transparent one. I see just mundane stuff, nothing exciting and I move on. From a distance I could see a beautiful scenery on the other side of the next window and I make a halt. I wait for a while and later realize that the scenery is a poster pasted on the window, truly disappointed I move on.
Now as I move, I have become slightly cautious. Here comes another window but I am a little reluctant this time as to avoid any disappointment. I figure out from a distance that there is some movement on the other side of the window which makes me feel that it’s going to be real this time. The view is breath taking and has filled me with joy. I look at it wonder struck for a long time and then realize I need to move on. Filled with the memories of the wonderful view I move on and as I move, I stop by a window which I had no intention to peep. I stop and to my sheer amazement, it just feels I see myself or rather am discovering myself the way I never did before.
Even though this isn’t the most wonderful sight, I am stuck and unable to move forward as – I am home!!
My son talks to me about different worlds. the Sponge Bob’s world, Nemo’s world and at times I see him talking to the miniature Lego buddies from the Lego land that he creates . He wants me to be part of these worlds as he juggles between these worlds. Is it childish or have we just lost the ability to juggle between many lives as part of our growing up. Growing up also meant honing the ability to focus on one’s own life and achieve. I remember during school days how I used to be lost while reading poems and stories – travel places while reading geography chapters and traveling back in time being part of the kingdom, fighting battles while reading my history lessons. I loved it all.
Work of art still lets me cross my boundaries experience other lives and perspectives. Such pieces of art are an ultimate experience and these artists are revered for their ability to get me out of my boundaries. When my heart aches at people’s sorrows, rejoices at their joy, frowns at injustices done to someone, I have then blurred my boundaries to live many lives making the experience called “my life” richer.
The generation that is so focused on “focus” and “achievement”, empathy might seem like the characteristic of the fools or rather too emotional to be uttered. The experience of leaving the boundary of the self and accompanying the emotional journeys of many … expanding the boundary (or when the boundaries are blurred) of the self and feeling the joy and pain of the whole universe should be beautiful because – then I am the universe and the universe is me!
The surface is still and seems easy to manage, so we all tend to use the floaters most of the time and just stay floated. Deep down are the wild currents that could stir us up. If I am uncomfortable with the wild currents I would rather float with the rest of the folks. Trying to explore the currents needs heart – a heart to accept pain. The currents deep within the other person could stir me, shake my whole existence. But it would enrich my existence, make me feel alive. Deep down could be unexplored goodness or the sub conscious devil. I will touch the real in turn getting to explore the unexplored me – the goodness as well my devil.
The freedom to experience the free fall with the trust of being tied on to something really strong is beautiful. Are not the best relations in our lives similar? The freedom to explore one’s potential with the stronghold of a relationship that one can always get back to. The person lets you conquer your devils and meet your Gods.
How good is a relationship that would just tie you down in the name of love and wouldn’t let you spread your hands, feel the air and let you fly? But would express love with the statement – “I can’t see you fall/ fail.”