We are all less significant in this world than we think we are. Life moves on, people move on with their lives. My most loved ones will move on with their lives and that is exactly how it ought to be. No one is indispensable. The concept of apocalypse and end of world theories are manifestation of the “fear of insignificance” of human life & existence. In the bigger cosmos we are just so significantly insignificant. This isn’t a negative thought – it’s the acceptance of the impermanence, and the beauty of impermanence.
What if the lily in my garden wilt away? The day of its bloom brought joy to my soul and I experienced its beauty every moment of its existence. Its fragrance swept into my room each day. But eventually it wilted and fell. Did I mourn forever? I waited for another bloom that recreated the whole experience all over again.
Everything moves on – and this realization makes it easier for me to let go and not getting stuck. So, then like the lily in my garden – I am here, I am now…putting my heart and soul to the “here and now”. When its time for me to move on – I need to whole heartedly let go.
I am the caterpillar who keeps on feeding. I am always hungry for more – more of everything. Insatiable are my material desires and self- obsession. What I feed on also depends on what’s available and valued around me – the cultural baggage, the networks that I associate my net worth with.
The goal of nature is not to fill this place with millions of over grown, bloated caterpillars. Each caterpillar has a unique butterfly within, waiting to emerge and take flight. To transform into a butterfly, I definitely need to be a caterpillar first keep feeding my instincts – but there needs to be a pupa phase in my life of looking inwards for self realization and henceforth come out with my wide open wings.
The quality of the human society is determined by the eco system it provides to propagate this metamorphosis in each individual. The world is much more beautiful with butterflies spreading their wings, flocking from flower to flower, spreading love. I wouldn’t want to visualize a world full of over grown, bloated caterpillars found creeping everywhere fighting over the left over leaves on the bare plants.
I look into your eyes and I can see your conscience sleeping. You have lulled your baby to sleep and whenever she has tried to be awake, you just rocked her to sleep again. You are panicked by the thought of the attention she demands while she is awake. You are not comfortable taking her to your workplace or any other place where you think you belong. But isn’t she your baby, a part of you. Try waking her up, see her awake –smiling, crying, babbling and playing. There is wonder, there is honesty and there is you – that is what I want to see in your eyes the next time.
Eve my Mother, intrigued by the reasoning serpent, opted to risk her comforts to taste the fruit of knowledge. Became conscious, self aware and was pushed out of her comfort zone. Rather than being provided she owned up to bear the pain of creation and owned up her life.
Was Eden indeed a state of bliss or a state of ignorance, a state of being unaware, non pondering and dependent? As a mother who loves her dependant infant and her innocence, my happiness in not in her remaining dependant but growing up losing her innocence to be aware of her responsibilities towards mankind and herself and take up the ownership.
From an Eden of being provided I grow up to be pushed out to create an Eden and provide the next generation.
I have been in search for a statue of Buddha for a long time. A Buddha face that helps me transcend and experience beyond my daily existence. Either I would come across a mass produced “no details” sculpture or an exorbitantly priced one – both reminding me of the commercialization of a spiritual concept. One day, a small Buddha sculpture caught my eye, captured my senses and I brought it home. There was a sense of delight, a feeling of bringing in some spiritual energy home. I figured out a private corner in my room (like an inner sanctuary) to place the statue. That corner of my room became the manifestation of the deepest within me. Whenever I crossed the corner there seemed to be a pull. A pull to take a few deep breath, stay still & calm enough to listen to how I inhale & exhale. It felt good to follow the pull. After at some point of time this corner in my room became just another corner. I became immune to the pull or should I say I became immune to my inner Buddha.
In our daily grind we lose touch with our inner Buddha making us immune to the pains and suffering of others around us. Stories about people getting killed somewhere is just a flash news to be talked about around the office coolers. Life goes on, we move on with ever growing numbness to the sufferings around us. In my busy routine I hardly notice my Buddha, It is still there and while I was dusting it today there is a sense of guilt but that soon subsides as I move on with my cleaning chore.